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REWATCH: Personal Taste - Ep 5 - Part 1 of 2
Hide and seek...feelings
The time on the clock is 8:00AM. It’s a familiar alarm clock. It’s from the first episode and it belongs to JinHo. It’s beeping. His hand slaps at the snooze button. A moment later, a smaller hand lands on his, also trying to find the snooze switch. JinHo’s eyes pop open. Next to him, GaeIn also opens her eyes. She’s lying next to him on his narrow bed with one leg draped over him. They both jolt upright. “Why are you in my room, JinHo-sshi?” she wonders sleepily. Since he’s gay, she’s just merely curious as to how they ended up sleeping next to one another. She’s not particularly upset. He’s momentarily shocked at their closeness but then at her non-reaction, he lets his own surprise go. He grabs his head as the hangover headache reminds him of how they ended up passed out in his room. “This is actually my room,” he corrects her. She frowns, “Why did you drag me into your room?” Again he corrects her, “You forced your way in here, don’t you remember?”
She considers…the previous night:
She grabs his arm, “Will you make me…a woman?” He yanks it out of her grasp, blinking furiously, horrified at the thoughts that are popping into his head, “Do you even know what you’re asking!?” She really does not, or it isn’t what he’s thinking anyway. She puts her hand over her heart, “JinHo-sshi, I want to become...the kind of woman…who is really a woman…” He still can’t believe what has come out of her mouth, he demands in outrage, “I’m asking you if you even know what it means when a woman asks a man to make her a woman?” She continues to look at him woefully. He can’t believe how out of line she is, no matter how recklessly she’s used to living her life. He mutters bitingly, “It’s my fault for getting involved in the first place.” They are clearly not speaking the same language. It’s late at night, they are alone, drinking…and now this! He’s really upset because he can’t help but see her as a woman and here she is, asking him to “make her a woman.” He can’t move past the actual words to hear what she’s really asking, which is nothing more than a make-over.
He stands up to leave but she grabs onto his leg in desperation. “JinHo-sshi! JinHo-sshi!” she begs, she doesn’t want him to go, she’s being completely serious. She’s sprawled on her belly in a drunken crawl, clinging onto his leg like he’s her lifeline from drowning. “I don’t want to hear that I’m not a woman ever again!” she wails. He snaps at her, “Do you think you’re behavior right now is that of a person who can be taken seriously!?” She frustrates him even more by arguing, “If anybody can understand my feelings, isn’t it you, JinHo-sshi? You who has been born a man but can’t live as one? Can’t you understand my heart, what it must have felt like to hear that I’m not really a woman?” There is too much misunderstanding and assumption on her part and his pity for her can’t compete with his irritation. He tells her to fix up her own life because it’s not his problem.
She must have chased him into his room because next thing we know, they’ve entered the second round of drinks. They’ve simply relocated the party to his bedroom. He’s on his sixth can of beer and she’s working on soju bottle number two. He still can’t believe that she doesn’t know what it means to proposition a man to ‘make her a woman.’ Waving his can around and slurring his words, his eyes half-mast, he tells her, “You have to realize how ridiculous your request is, you know? This request from Park GaeIn to me, asking to make her a woman!” Her words are equally wobbly, “But…must there be sex in order for it to become love?” Waving his hands, JinHo drunkenly gives her a lesson on the birds and bees, “I want to hold this woman. Without this…kind of urge…do you really think a man can love a woman? Men have to want to touch and hold the woman he loves.” But GaeIn asks, confused, how would JinHo know about a man’s desire for a woman? The can of beer slips from his fingertips and he just stares at her with tired eyes. He shoves her soju bottle at her. “Just drink. You talk to much.” He’s glaring at her even when drunk. It’s an exasperated look that reads: what am I going to do with this woman?
She explains to him brokenly, sleepily, that she wants to be the kind of woman that gets under a man’s skin, makes him worry about her, the kind of woman a man wouldn’t ever want to lose, with or without sex. A man would eventually fall in love with that kind of woman, wouldn’t he? She falls asleep sitting up. JinHo looks at her dozing face a long while. He just stares, his eyes shadowed and bothered.
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She considers…the previous night:
She grabs his arm, “Will you make me…a woman?” He yanks it out of her grasp, blinking furiously, horrified at the thoughts that are popping into his head, “Do you even know what you’re asking!?” She really does not, or it isn’t what he’s thinking anyway. She puts her hand over her heart, “JinHo-sshi, I want to become...the kind of woman…who is really a woman…” He still can’t believe what has come out of her mouth, he demands in outrage, “I’m asking you if you even know what it means when a woman asks a man to make her a woman?” She continues to look at him woefully. He can’t believe how out of line she is, no matter how recklessly she’s used to living her life. He mutters bitingly, “It’s my fault for getting involved in the first place.” They are clearly not speaking the same language. It’s late at night, they are alone, drinking…and now this! He’s really upset because he can’t help but see her as a woman and here she is, asking him to “make her a woman.” He can’t move past the actual words to hear what she’s really asking, which is nothing more than a make-over.
He stands up to leave but she grabs onto his leg in desperation. “JinHo-sshi! JinHo-sshi!” she begs, she doesn’t want him to go, she’s being completely serious. She’s sprawled on her belly in a drunken crawl, clinging onto his leg like he’s her lifeline from drowning. “I don’t want to hear that I’m not a woman ever again!” she wails. He snaps at her, “Do you think you’re behavior right now is that of a person who can be taken seriously!?” She frustrates him even more by arguing, “If anybody can understand my feelings, isn’t it you, JinHo-sshi? You who has been born a man but can’t live as one? Can’t you understand my heart, what it must have felt like to hear that I’m not really a woman?” There is too much misunderstanding and assumption on her part and his pity for her can’t compete with his irritation. He tells her to fix up her own life because it’s not his problem.
She must have chased him into his room because next thing we know, they’ve entered the second round of drinks. They’ve simply relocated the party to his bedroom. He’s on his sixth can of beer and she’s working on soju bottle number two. He still can’t believe that she doesn’t know what it means to proposition a man to ‘make her a woman.’ Waving his can around and slurring his words, his eyes half-mast, he tells her, “You have to realize how ridiculous your request is, you know? This request from Park GaeIn to me, asking to make her a woman!” Her words are equally wobbly, “But…must there be sex in order for it to become love?” Waving his hands, JinHo drunkenly gives her a lesson on the birds and bees, “I want to hold this woman. Without this…kind of urge…do you really think a man can love a woman? Men have to want to touch and hold the woman he loves.” But GaeIn asks, confused, how would JinHo know about a man’s desire for a woman? The can of beer slips from his fingertips and he just stares at her with tired eyes. He shoves her soju bottle at her. “Just drink. You talk to much.” He’s glaring at her even when drunk. It’s an exasperated look that reads: what am I going to do with this woman?
She explains to him brokenly, sleepily, that she wants to be the kind of woman that gets under a man’s skin, makes him worry about her, the kind of woman a man wouldn’t ever want to lose, with or without sex. A man would eventually fall in love with that kind of woman, wouldn’t he? She falls asleep sitting up. JinHo looks at her dozing face a long while. He just stares, his eyes shadowed and bothered.
